It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
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