I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
Randomize
