hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
