I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
Randomize