Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
Randomize
