My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
