So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
