Nicole vs. Life
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
Randomize
