I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
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