i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
Randomize
