my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
You're a waste of cheezeits
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
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