I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
Randomize
