thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
Randomize
