3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize
