Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
Randomize
