we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
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Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
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I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
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