mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
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I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
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I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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