i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
I'm at about main and main street
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
Randomize
