mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
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