you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm getting married
To pizza
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
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