i just woke up with two martini umbrellas taped to my nipples... idk how they got there
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize