dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
Randomize
