if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
17 Women That Lost Condoms Up Their Lady Parts
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
23 People Confess The Most F*cked Up Thing Guests Have Done In Their House
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me