Texts From Last Night

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  (630): View more from Illinois

  i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.

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  (630): i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons. http://tfl.nu/sim9
  Replies (38) Good night (4795) Bad night (683) Order T-Shirt
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  (618): View more from Illinois

  We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.

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  (618): We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him. http://tfl.nu/xg0w
  Replies (23) Good night (10504) Bad night (711)
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  (231): View more from Michigan

  A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.

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  (231): A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people. http://tfl.nu/k0xd
  Replies (110) Good night (9226) Bad night (2040) Order T-Shirt
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  (504): View more from Louisiana

  I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.

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  (504): I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of. http://tfl.nu/c6bd
  Replies (21) Good night (9494) Bad night (830) Order T-Shirt
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  (619): View more from California

  My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.

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  (619): My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can. http://tfl.nu/8tit
  Replies (21) Good night (14406) Bad night (1109) Order T-Shirt
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  (484): View more from Pennsylvania

  we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard

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  (484): we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard http://tfl.nu/y3gw
  Replies (11) Good night (8315) Bad night (798) Order T-Shirt
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  (903): View more from Texas

  Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.

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  (903): Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand. http://tfl.nu/dh2g
  Replies (13) Good night (2387) Bad night (1276) Order T-Shirt
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  (401): View more from Rhode Island

  yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off

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  (401): yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off http://tfl.nu/phv1
  Replies (2) Good night (1647) Bad night (864) Order T-Shirt
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  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.

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  (+44): That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard. http://tfl.nu/cdhm
  Replies (20) Good night (4698) Bad night (627) Order T-Shirt
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  (937): View more from Ohio

  She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.

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  (937): She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend. http://tfl.nu/pjkv
  Replies (11) Good night (2152) Bad night (486) Order T-Shirt
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  (512): View more from Texas

  I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see

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  (512): I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see http://tfl.nu/ic6l
  Replies (6) Good night (789) Bad night (445) Order T-Shirt
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  (213): View more from California

  I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...

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  (213): I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question... http://tfl.nu/p1j1
  Replies (8) Good night (952) Bad night (362) Order T-Shirt
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  (785): View more from Kansas

  Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?

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  (785): Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right? http://tfl.nu/9mi0
  Replies (18) Good night (1939) Bad night (378) Order T-Shirt
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  (773): View more from Illinois

  i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter

  (1-773): View more from Illinois

  re read what you just said

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  (773): i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter (1-773): re read what you just said http://tfl.nu/07tx
  Replies (3) Good night (614) Bad night (1205) Order T-Shirt
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  (469): View more from Texas

  I'm going through a really dark time right now

  (214): View more from Texas

  I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up

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  (469): I'm going through a really dark time right now (214): I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up http://tfl.nu/zlw3
  Replies (5) Good night (392) Bad night (1241)

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