Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
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#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
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Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.