whjeg hajt iyt
wanna hang out?
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.