My hand turned me down
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
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