If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
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