didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
Randomize
