mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
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