he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
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