why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
