This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
I love how my cats smell like pot.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
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