i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
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