yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
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