i don't like sucking hair
the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
Randomize
