you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
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