Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
my shit smells like andre
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
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I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
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