Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
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