If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
our cab driver is having phone sex.
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
Randomize
