A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
Randomize
