very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
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