you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
Randomize
