here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
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