Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
Randomize
