dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Randomize
