why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
Randomize
