well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
Randomize
