no you cant smoke seaweed
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
