I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
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