go do what you do best...puke behind churches
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
She even gives head with a lisp.
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
Randomize
