You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
Randomize
