she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Randomize
