just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
Randomize
