I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
Randomize
