1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize
