I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
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