Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
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