Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
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