no, he came in my armpit
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
Randomize
