I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
Randomize
