Where did you get a picture of my penis
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
Randomize
