so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
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