you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
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