my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
