People with herpes should wear stickers.
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
